If you are looking for a new way to go about making your phone calls to your customers, you should really look into an auto dialer. This is a technology that will allow you to build your own call list that will fit to what kind of phone calls you are making. Such as if you where a church who needs to contact their members about a certain event that is coming up, you get an auto dialer put in the list of church members record your voice and your message then all you do is hit a button and as simple as that your auto dialer will begin working.

How about if your school needs to call parents about a PTA meeting? It’s a lot easier for an auto dialer to be set up with the list of numbers and to go and make all those calls for you. It’s either that or tie up an employee’s time making calls that can add up to a huge amount of time. So you can see where an auto dialer here would be a great idea.

Or a business who might make deliveries to people, it’s so much easier for you to have an auto dialer set up to call the customers who are getting a delivery within the next few days then for an employee again to waste their time. With auto dialers the time that an employee could be wasting making those phone calls might add up to finishing a lot of work they need to finish.

With this time that the auto dialer is saving you and your employees who can then be working on something else for you. You will see an increase in your bottom line, or your profit line which any business will of course like and want to do.

You can see the clear advantage of auto dialers to business in just this little article. Plus it’s such an easy product to use and set up for use that training time on it is pretty much nil. The fact that you can record your voice for the messages gives it a more personal touch then an automated voice. And also the cost of a lot of auto dialers isn’t that outrageous and you can see with the employees not having to do the calling how you will be able to recoup your cost very effectively and quickly.

Ron Subs is a public relations consultant who works with Voicent. More information about Voicent can be found at Voicent.com

Presentation skills can be applied in so many areas of everyday life: the way we look, the way we conduct ourselves, the way we present our ideas to others. In business these skills are particularly important. Creating the right impression, getting your message across clearly and with conviction and making an impact can all mean the difference between winning and losing business, or progressing your career and getting stuck where you are.

So, strong presentation skills are vital to success, but can everybody pull off a great presentation? Of course some people appear more naturally skilled than others at public speaking - perhaps due to greater confidence and lots of practice in communicating - but even the most shy and unconfident people can learn to present well. Equally, those who already present effectively can always improve with further training and coaching, perhaps to hone specific areas.

So what is involved in becoming an effective presenter? Standing in front of people, managing to string together the basics of a pitch or presentation is one thing but will staff, colleagues or clients remember what you were saying at the end of your presentation? Have you left your audience full of enthusiasm for your idea or needing a strong coffee to wake up? Do they have confidence in you?

A successful, impactful presentation is built on a whole suite of factors. Opening with a bang, using the right body language, maintaining eye contact, varying your tone, signposting and using relevant and engaging language, anecdotes and examples all make a difference. And of course there are plenty of things you can do to control those pesky nerves.

Presenting, however confident a person you are, can be a very daunting task. A well rehearsed presentation can be put in jeopardy due to the onset of nerves. Whether public speaking or presenting in front of friends, colleagues or complete strangers, an element of nerves is natural. The fear of embarrassment, making yourself look stupid or not making sense are all normal human emotions which, with the correct training can actually be harnessed in order to improve your presentation.

Modelling can be a great way to improve presentation skills. Carefully observing and analysing what good presenters do and then emulating those techniques can be a powerful way to improve your own skills.
In conclusion, yes some people do have a stronger natural talent for presenting and engaging an audience. But the good news is that everyone can improve and give a great presentation if they know what it is that makes a difference and how to apply the techniques. And if they’re given opportunities to practise and receive helpful and personalised feedback. The potential for progress is enormous and the rewards to be reaped both for your business and personal life are worth the effort.

Dominic Donaldson is an expert in the communication skills sector.
Find out more about presentation skills and how to boost your confidence in your career at Speakfirst.

Nominating yourself for the role of Fire Safety Warden at your new job may have seemed like an easy way to score brownie points with your new employer, but it’s important to realise the responsibility you need to take on in your new role. Of course all companies will be slightly different and numbers of employees will vary dramatically but effectively, you are responsible for the lives of your colleagues and will be the first point of call before the fire brigade arrive. Upon nomination, you will need to be put through some fire safety training by your company and so it’s essential you realise what is involved and what will be expected of you during your training programme.

The Regulatory Reform (Fire Safety) Order of 2005 was a statutory instrument, placing the onus on individuals to carry out risk assessments on certain types of property and submit them to their local fire authority. Under this order, fire safety training was made a legal requirement for staff members meaning fire marshals must learn certain skills in order to perform their role effectively. The focus will be on a wide range of procedures such as the chemistry of fire and how fires spreads, common causes of fire, safety features within buildings and what your action should be on discovering a fire. Fire Safety training will take you through the moment you need to call the fire service, how to spot and reduce hazards, evacuation procedures, liaising with the fire service, daily and weekly fire checks, record keeping and perhaps if appropriate to your particular company, you may look at dealing with bomb threats. All people learning to be a fire warden will most definitely learn the theory and practise behind using a fire extinguisher.

The purpose of this training will be to allow employees to fully assume the duties of Fire Marshals or Fire Wardens at their place of work and allow them to feel confident should their duties be required in an emergency.

While it sounds like a lot to learn, many fire safety training courses are able to cover all these key pointers within half a day, so you can easily squeeze it in to a normal working day. Upon completion, those who take part in the fire safety training will receive an IFE approved certificate of attendance (Institute of Fire Engineers). The IFE is at the heart of the fire community, and a recognised qualification from the institute will ensure you are well prepared in the heat of the moment.

Having the skills that will help you deal with a fire is also incredibly useful out of the workplace. Like learning how to do first aid, having the option to do fire safety training is incredibly rewarding. It’s strongly advisable to listen and learn and take on board all the fire services teach you. It could help to save a life.

Dominic Donaldson is an expert in the health & safety industry.
Find out more about Fire Safety Training and how important this training is for fire wardens at work.

In our fast changing world, concentrating on strategic planning every three or five years is simply not enough. In the 21st century school principals and school boards must be constantly aware of education trends and grasp opportunities for their schools quickly. This is why providing time for strategic thinking is so important. Here are some ways school management can encourage creative, innovative ideas.

Tip 1: Be explicit about your strategy. Many personnel in schools, and certainly school principals, complain there is not enough time to think. Make clear to staff that you value and encourage thinking as much as you value completion of day to day tasks. Encourage staff to read and present new ideas as a regular session in staff meetings. Present ideas yourself and lead staff discussions. Provide an ideas box for students and staff. Gather information all year round so you constantly have relevant and timely data to inform decision making.

Tip 2: Provide time. Often school staff meetings begin with information sessions with time for thinking and professional development tacked on the end if there is time. Much of the information could be supplied on paper, via email or in one on one conversations to the relevant people. If information can be delivered by alternative means, it should not be included in the staff meeting. Turn staff meetings on their head! Start with professional development, reports from staff who have discovered an interesting piece of educational research or with a group reading of an article relevant to professional learning. If there is time left over, then provide information, although not if can be provided some other way.

Tip 3: Reward your creative thinkers. Look for ways to reward your creative and strategic thinkers. Provide opportunities for them to lead an important change. Provide time for them to attend meaningful professional development that focuses on ideas. Provide release time from class to follow up on a piece of important research.

Tip 4: Review board priorities. How much of the time of your school Board is focused on strategic matters, including monitoring the progress of strategic projects? How much time is spent in hearing verbal reports on matters already supplied in written reports? How much time is spent on operational matters which are not the business of boards? Look at your board agenda and change it to a strategic thinking focus. Allow questions about reports but do not allow the complete presentation of a report that board members should have already read. Listen to board concerns about school operations but continually remind board members that operations are the responsibility of the principal, not the board. Make central to each board meeting, one of the strategic priorities of the school. Provide a report on progress and reassure the board that strategic targets are on track while also discussing as a group the issues that might face the school in future.

Tip 5: Communicate. How much of what happens in your school is communication, and how much information giving? Review the information that leaves the school and the meetings and conversations that take place. How much is providing information that could be conveyed in some other way? How much goes to all people, when only a small number really need the information? Almost every review done in every school finds that one of the major problems perceived by stakeholders is no one communicates! And this is largely true. Schools generally supply an inordinate amount of information, but do not provide meaningful communication. And where there is little meaningful communication schools miss the opportunity to collect all of the ideas and strategic thinking that is out there. Encourage strategic thinking by constantly providing forums for the exchange of ideas and opportunities for meaningful dialogue which sparks creative solutions to issues facing your school.

Robyn Collins is a former school principal and passionate about education. She wants every school to be the best it can be.
Find out more about school improvement through strategic planning at: http://www.strategicplanning4schools.com

Networking is not going away. No matter how high-tech, plugged in, or globalized the world becomes, networking will be around forever. You need networking, and you need it to work for you.

But as consumers, clients, customers, and executives all realize the power and usefulness of networking you are faced with the difficulty of discriminating how, when, why, and how much networking you should be doing.

For example, if you joined every networking web site there was, you could make a full time job of just filling out web forms. Or, if you attended every networking function in your industry, you would do nothing but eat, drink, and mingle.

So, what are you going to do. This article attempts to lay out seven keys to business networking growth.

1. Become the go-to guy for a networking question. As you begin to network, your circle of acquaintances grows. Your rolodex of numbers increases. And you start running out of room to put business cards. In time, you will build a reputation as a pretty good networker.

Now and then someone may come up to you and say, “Hey, do you happen to know a good franchise consultant?” You dig in your drawer, whip out a business card and say, “Give him a call. I met him last March. Nice guy.” Bingo. You’ve scored a point. You’ve made a connection.

And you’ve won some trust. Eventually, a few more people will come up to you and say, “Hey, I heard that you may know a good marketing firm…” And so it has begun. By and by, you will receive a certain degree of recognition as someone who is very well connected, knows a lot of people, and can point people in the right direction. But networking is a snowballing adventure.

The more people you know, the more people you can get to know. The more people that come to you with networking questions, the more people you can find out about and get to know. Make it your goal to become the networking guru in your space.

2. Seek opportunities to help others. Helping people is at the core of networking. A networking attempt is so much more than a handshake and an exchange of a name card. It is so much more than accepting a connection on LinkedIn.

The value of your network is not measured by the amount of names that you know, but by the amount of help you can provide. As you survey the networking landscape, don’t look at is as a host of names to know. Look at is as a host of people to help. After all, the only truly valuable networking will be from people whom you know personally and whom you have helped.

Once you help people, especially in a sacrificial or altruistic way, you’ve won their trust. They have a degree of confidence in you. That confidence will translate into them recommending you. That is exactly what you want. That is the way to grow your network, and that is a crucial key to business networking growth.

3. Seek opportunities for others to help you. But it works both ways. Not only should you be helping others, but others can be helping you. If you need help, ask for it.

Gaining help from others creates a human connection that can’t be gained any other way. Besides, you get to see the skills of another from a unique angle. You get to see how the person works. You get to experience their product.

And you get to establish a mutual relationship of trust. That goes miles in the networking world. People willl remember those whom they help, and it is the perfect way to build a strong, lasting network.

4. Be everywhere often. Though it sounds daunting, it is possible to carve out a significant presence for yourself. The key word here is “strategic.” As I mentioned, it is an incredible waste of time to join every networking site out there.

Though you will receive a plethora of invitations, be selective. Join only the ones that will best accomplish your purposes. It should be standard, however, to at least have a presence on LinkedIn, the current networking site leader.

Other industry-specific websites should be consulted as well. In addition, attend several strategic functions as often as you can. Again, too much is too much, but make it your practice to be at the important ones as often as possible.

5. Know people well. When you meet people, remember their names and some specifics about them. Don’t be ashamed to write names down. You need to remember them. Carry around a pen and pad of paper, and jot down notes.

Not just for names, but facts, too. When you pick up the phone to call that potential customer, it will go a long way to say, “By the way, how’s your mother-in-law? I remember you mentioned she had surgery last week.”

6. Host something. Be a networking leader and go ahead and host something. It can be as simple as a backyard barbecue for all the CFOs in your town. Or it can be as big as a golf outing for all the engineering firms.

Either way, you can quickly become a networking mogul, just by organizing events. After all, once the event is over, you have a list of everyone who signed up–complete with numbers and all.

7. Finally, make it fun. Networking can be a fulfilling hobby. After all, you’re interacting with people. People can be a lot of fun. Face the challenge of being a networking guru, but make it an enjoyable and refreshing hobby.

Adam Price is a master at the art of online networking and internet marketing in business. He challenges business owners to grow their offline business by harnessing the power of the internet. He’s also the co-founder of SynergyBizNet, find out more at: www.Synergy-Biz-Net.com

A vitally important skill for managers is communication. Developing this will make a big difference to how successful you are. Even though sometimes managers are required to impart vital information, the way he or she communicates it, as well as everyday abilities to get on well with their team members, can make or break the potential to perform. By taking steps to change attitudes and behaviors around methods of communication, a manager can get more, much more, from the people around them.

Using great delving questions can get to the bottom of many challenging issues for managers. If progress is being held back because of some problem with processes for example, getting to the bottom of them might be critical for success and above all profitability. Utilizing excellent communication skills to present facts and show team members what’s going on and what isn’t, may well be the way forward. A really good manager will more than adequately demonstrate this capability.

Of course, the ability to get a special message across is very valuable, in all sorts of circumstances. What must be remembered is that such occasions are probably relatively rare. In the day-job, interpersonal understanding is far more important, so the ability to communicate one-on-one with all sorts of people is a skill worth having. Rapport building comes from listening effectively, so that people really feel you are interested and understand them as individuals too. It does involve some investment of time…and it’s time spent that is well worth it.

Typically common and damaging effects of poor communication skills are how misunderstandings develop. These can drive employees mad and managers to the edge of despair, especially when actions don’t happen as they should. If a manager doesn’t clearly understand the needs of the audience they are speaking with, then their efforts may well be in vain. Taking the time to ascertain whether those listening are ‘getting it’, will create instant feedback so that whatever is being said can be adapted ‘on-the-fly’.

When your people have come up with a problem, you might have felt that you understood all it’s complex twists and turns. Trust me; you are not the only one to misinterpret what you thought you understood - it’s so easy! When people are given a problem, they divert their attention towards finding a solution to it and in doing so they fail to understand the various aspects that the particular issue involves. By listening very carefully to the problem, by paying close attention to the detail and asking incisive questions, you will ensure there is little home for misunderstanding. This is a really effective way of getting into a problem and resolving it.

Being able to appreciate information for what it is, requires a special capacity within any manager. Time, ‘busyness’ and all the other demands on time, means that a manager has to be pretty smart to make quick judgments based on limited information. In those cases it’s a good idea to make sure that actions are not taken in haste, but considered carefully when the time is available to make the nest decision possible.

When working with teams, what you say and what they hear is even more important to get right. If one person gets the wrong end of the stick, then quite soon you will end up with confusion, frustration and possibly even internal strife amongst the team. Clarity is vital here. Taking the time when you brief a whole team, to recognize that they will all receive messages in very different ways (and accommodating this), will be well worth the effort in the long run. Including two-way communication with each and every member of the team fosters team spirit and collaboration.

It’s important from the outset that you have ensured there are adequate facilities for any occasions where good communication is important to you. This can be done well in advance for major events. Even when you are holding regular weekly or monthly meetings, by ensuring that you have the appropriate resources in place will not only mean that your message gets across, but also how well your people feel that they are being treated.

By making sure that you really understand that communication skills are your first , middle and last amazing tool in your kit when you are managing a team of people, however large or small, you will enjoy major benefits. Get this right and you will have results to be totally proud of. This is your moment, so make a real go of it!

As a seasoned professional who has worked for a variety of bosses I’ve found that each boss, no matter what their sex, what their temperament, what their background, each are looking for some common behaviors out of their employees. Once you learn what they are looking for it’s easy to get on their good side and when you can do that, the fast track isn’t far behind.

Give your boss regular updates, even if he or she doesn’t ask for it. Yes, this is just another form of “communication”. Some bosses will demand regular updates, while others don’t. But all bosses want to know that progress is being made, especially on high-profile projects. Don’t save bad news or problem issues for later. The sooner you let your boss know there is a problem, the faster the two of you can work together to come up with a solution. I know, this can be scary, and some bosses don’t take bad news well. But it’s better to get the issue out on the table. Trust me, you don’t want to wait until the day a project is due to tell your boss that the deadline was impossible to attain!

Remember that all businesses are organizations and that to get ahead you need to be organized too. And that organization needs to be obvious. When you meet with your boss, always know what you need to cover from most important to least. That way your boss will be impressed with your ability to prioritize and if you run out of time, there will never be any important issues that get left unresolved.

Most bosses, if asked, will say they don’t want to be interrupted. But there is a fine art of following up with your boss on important issues. You don’t want to bug him or her but you do need to get attention when you need it. Be persistent but not pesty. Be courteous of their privacy and knock before entering their office and never enter when they are on the phone unless you have a prescheduled meeting and they wave you in.

Make your boss look good and, if you can, make their peers look good also. If you constantly make your boss look good they will keep you with them as they rise. If you occasionally make their peers look good (and they realize it) you are positioning yourself to be seen as someone who’ll make anyone look good and thus become a coveted employee. If they end up with an opening that could be a promotion for you, you’ll be a shoe in if they already know and respect you.

Show gratitude. Most of us feel that it’s our boss’s job to provide us with training, challenging projects, and a pat on the back for a job well done. Since it’s her job, why should we say “thank you”? But in reality, training takes time, challenging projects come and go (but grunt work always seems to be in full supply), and when you do a good job, the boss is probably already working on the next “fire”. So, it takes a lot of time and effort for him to do these things he “should” do. A genuine “thank you” can go a long way in developing a good relationship with your boss. And isn’t that what we all hope for?

Follow these five steps and you’ll find that your relationship with your boss improves. You may even find your boss to be more human and caring than you would have ever imagined.

Many people think that participating in a negotiation is an “all or nothing” event, and that there needs to be a winner and a loser. That’s the furthest possible thing from the truth. Although the goal of negotiations is getting what you want or need, the best negotiations use ideas from both players involved.

This article will look at the tactics and tips that top negotiators use to get what they want. You can use these suggestions in almost any negotiation process.

Before the Negotiation

You’ll need to think about what you want from the negotiation process. It may make sense to put specific goals down on paper before starting. You should be optimistic. What would be the best possible result? This may be as basic as the other side giving you exactly what you want. You should also come up with other “fall-back” positions that you’d be comfortable accepting. Come up with as many scenarios as possible.

Your next goal is to identify any potential weaknesses that the other player may have. In a real estate deal, for example, one party may know that the other party needs to sell the property or face a crisis. This is valuable information. Finding the other party’s weaknesses is important because it will allow you to capitalize on those weaknesses - or at least help both players come to a middle ground.

Something else that you should do - and most people don’t - is to come up with a list of reasons why the proposal benefits the other party. You will then bring up the main points of this list during the actual negotiation. Again using the real estate example, one party could argue that its bid for a particular property is more favorable than what others may submit because it is an all-cash offer. The negotiator increases the odds of getting the deal done by pointing out the advantages to both parties.

The Negotiation: In Person

In an ideal situation, both parties would identify their goals and objectives at the beginning of the negotiation. This allows each player to know where the other player stands, and establishes the basis for conversation. Each party may then offer fall-back and counter proposals.

There also are other things that people can do to increase the chance that they will get what they want. Analyzing body language is a good example.

How can you tell if your proposal was received well? Positives will include the other person making direct eye contact and nodding his or her head. Negative signs include the other person folding his or her arms, not making eye contact, or shaking the head.

The Negotiation: On the Phone

You can’t see and analyze body language if you do the negotiation on the phone. That means you have to analyze the other player’s voice and not his or her body language. Extended pauses usually mean that the other party is hesitant about the deal or is thinking about the offer. Sudden exclamations or a quick response may indicate that the other party is amenable to the proposal. They may just need a little “nudge” to come around to your side.

The Negotiation: By Mail

Negotiations that you do through the mail - like some real estate transactions - are very different from the other types of negotiations. You may find these tips helpful when doing a mail negotiation.

*Words or phrases that are ambiguous may be a signal that the other player is open to a certain proposal. You should look for words like “can,” “possibly,” or “maybe.” If the other party uses a statement like “eagerly awaiting your reply,” that may be a sign that they are enthusiastic or optimistic about the proposal.

*See if you can use some of the other party’s ideas when they make a counter offer or an initial proposal. That can help seal a deal on the spot. If compromise isn’t feasible, suggest other alternatives.

*You will need a formal contract to seal the negotiation. Have an attorney draft the contract after the process is finished. Make certain that this contract is signed in a timely fashion.

No Agreement? No problem.

Leave the way open for future negotiations if you can’t reach an agreement in one sitting or one phone call. Schedule further meetings if necessary and possible. Don’t worry about seeming overly anxious. Your request for further meetings will suggest that you think a deal can be worked out and you are willing to put in effort to make that possible.

Between negotiations, review what happened during that first meeting. Do you remember any weaknesses for the other player? Did the other party mention any factors that could help you seal a deal now like reduced APR? Answers to those questions may give you an advantage at any subsequent meetings.

Lastly, remember that it’s important to end any meetings on a positive note. You don’t want to burn bridges and create a negative situation for the future.

When you have really good working relationships with your colleagues, you can move mountains. You trust and support one another; you can anticipate problems. Communication is open, easy and often unspoken. It is easy to discuss problems or mistakes and to give and receive feedback. Conversations become creative problem solving sessions and productivity soars. You feel energised just by being in the team together.

When relationships in a team are poor and they start to affect communication, it is a very different story. We usually start off by trying to ignore the problem. We focus on just getting the job done, and hope that the personal stuff will resolve itself. But this seldom works and as time goes on communication becomes more strained and working effectively together becomes more difficult. Productivity drops, the team comes under pressure, and relationships disintegrate further. Often the only thing to do is to take time out and fix the relationship. Once that is done, you can get on with moving mountains.

Conversations about how we relate to each other tend to be some of the most difficult to hold, but in the long term, they can be the most rewarding. They are difficult for a number of reasons. First, it is likely that the people involved see the situation in very different ways. A colleague whose tone of voice you find condescending may be completely unaware of how they sound. A manager who reprimands you in front of colleagues thinks he is merely giving you corrective feedback. An employee whose attitude you find negative and disruptive believes they have a realistic view of events. And the people you thought arrogant and unhelpful? Maybe they were pushing for a deadline and did not even notice you were around!

The risk in holding one of these conversations is high. You might discover that your own behaviour is contributing to the problem. If you do not handle the conversation well, you may damage the relationship further and turn a difficult situation into one that becomes intolerable, making it even more difficult to work together! To make things worse, since the issues are personal, emotions run high. The only certainty is that the longer the conversation is delayed, the worse the problem becomes!

Step up to the conversation, but plan it carefully.

How will you find a time when you can talk without pressure? Where will you have the conversation so people are comfortable and where you have privacy? Think very carefully about the words you will use to open the conversation and how you will do so in a way that sets a constructive tone and avoids an accusation. You want to talk, not fight!

Then think through what has happened that has given rise to your concerns. Was it something that someone said, or did not say? Was it an event, or a situation in which you found yourself? Think of recent examples that everyone can relate to. Be concise and specific.

Then plan how you will describe your feelings about the situation. You must communicate them clearly because they provide the motive power to the conversation. Your description of the events should show how they arose so that others will be able to understand why you feel as you do. For example, if you are upset about a pattern of behaviour, your description of events should illustrate the pattern, not only one instance.

Then, because there are two sides to every story, think about how you will invite the other person into the conversation, and how you will listen to what they say with the same respect that you want them to show to you.

If you plan conversations on this basis you will find that you can discuss many difficult relationship issues and find resolution to them. Once you make a conversation safe, you have a much better chance of getting to the bottom of the problem, and clearing it out of the way. Then you can indeed move mountains!

Maureen Collins has a B.Sc. degree in Psychology from Edinburgh University and over 25 years of consulting experience. She specialises in communication skills in the business world. In Straight Talk, she trains people how to handle difficult conversations, on difficult topics, with difficult people.
Get free Straight Talk Tips.
http://www.straight-talk.co.za

How often have you smiled thinly at an unsavory joke, withheld a critical opinion, or kept silent instead of pointing out a mistake a colleague has made? There are many situations in which we choose not to speak up, or at least not to speak up with the truth, fearful that we will suffer, or cause, embarrassment. We hold our tongues in front of people who are more technically qualified than we are conscious of our lack of knowledge, even when we feel sure they are wrong. We stay quiet in groups when we are in some way an outsider, afraid that we will not be accepted. In our personal relationships we do not speak up in case we upset or embarrass others. At work, managers are reluctant to confront people who do not perform, so as not to create difficult working relationships.

We step around difficult issues, we are very polite, we pretend that all is well. In the short term there may be little consequence in not speaking up. But of course, the problem does not go away, and our discomfort and frustration increases. We begin to act out our emotions. We drop hints, make sarcastic comments and finally start to avoid the person whose behaviour we find distressful.

Meanwhile, the person is unaware of the negative effect they are having, and because they receive no feedback on which they could act, continue to behave in ways that may eventually limit their careers or their relationships. At the very least, our relationship with the person begins to disintegrate as the foundations of honesty, openness and trust are eroded.

It is said that what you allow someone to do, you teach them to do. When you allow someone to behave toward you in a way that you find unacceptable or stressful, and you do not speak up, they have little way of knowing how you feel, and so have no idea that they should change their behaviour. Inevitably, the longer you allow the situation to continue, the more difficult it will become to ever have a conversation in which you speak up honestly.

Ironically, we start off being polite to avoid speaking up, in case we damage people and relationships. In the end it is NOT speaking up that does far more serious damage.

Are you guilty of being polite when you should be honest? Rate the items below as True or False. If you rate four or more items as True, you are likely to be compromising your relationships by not communicating openly on how you feel or what you think. Ask yourself what the consequences would be if you were more honest, and try speaking up in some of the less difficult situations. You might be pleasantly surprised at the results.

1. When someone says something I disagree with, I would rather keep my opinion to myself than argue.
2. I would rather put up with poor performance from an employee than confront the person with negative feedback.
3. I would rather say Yes to a request, than turn it down and be thought unhelpful.
4. In awkward or stressful situations, I tend to hold back rather than give my full and candid opinion.
5. Sometimes I do not get my point across in conversations, even when I feel strongly about something.
6. I tend to use humour or sarcasm to avoid saying how I feel
7. I would rather avoid than confront a colleague whose behaviour I found offensive.

Maureen Collins has a B.Sc. degree in Psychology from Edinburgh University and over 25 years of consulting experience. She specialises in communication skills in the business world. In Straight Talk, she trains people how to handle difficult conversations, on difficult topics, with difficult people.
Get free Straight Talk Tips.
http://www.straight-talk.co.za